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Post by jbone on Jan 19, 2021 21:15:32 GMT -5
Yes indeed. 12 long days Jolene was in the health system here. Once the prognosis was in I had time to get an apartment and get our stuff moved and the place looking halfway decent. I think I'll be tired for a few days yet!
Other than one weekend when I went solo to Louisiana to play a gig some 12 years ago we had not been apart overnight but once or twice.
No words can describe how great it feels to have her back.
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Post by whitefang on Jan 20, 2021 10:29:55 GMT -5
Yeah, good to learn of it. I remember those long times my wife was in hospitals and/or skilled nursing. And my spending up to ten hours a day visiting with her. My wish is that both of you never have to find out what that's like.
I'm glad for you.
Whitefang
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Post by jbone on Jan 20, 2021 12:08:23 GMT -5
This is a hospice situation Fang. No extraordinary measures, we discussed it long ago. Jo is going for quality not quantity. Granted this was a big crisis having a tumor removed, and if that was all it would be one thing. But there is advanced cancer in her lungs and she is just not up to any more fight at that level.
This woman has something not seen many times these days. Grace. She will go on her terms with dignity.
I have much to learn yet and she has taught me so much already.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2021 18:38:22 GMT -5
Hopefully all will go well for her in then near future. Very best wishes.
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Post by whitefang on Jan 21, 2021 10:22:58 GMT -5
The biggest difference here is the knowledge that time is of essence. You sadly know it's limits or at least an approximation which can better prepare you for the inevitable. In my case I knew only that the time was getting closer, but that it came so suddenly and unexpected was the killer. So many we put faith in had failed her so miserably and needlessly I don't think I'll ever listen to or trust them again. And something you'll discover....
That you can learn from her won't stop when she's gone.
Whitefang
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Post by jbone on Jan 21, 2021 11:07:55 GMT -5
[That you can learn from her won't stop when she's gone.]
I know this will be true. The women in our lives plant things deep inside us.
Part of me says, she will be here a long time, she's mistaken, etc. Part is trying to be prepared. We have gone over all the things that will need to be done afterward. Inside I know I will be devastated for a time but I must still do the important things, for closure and for my own well being. I know we never get "over" loss of loved ones, we just find a way to move forward. We have many best times and I will be getting out the scrapbooks later so we can share memories much more in detail.
She has worked very hard to give me a structure and a plan for when she goes and after.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2021 11:24:13 GMT -5
 I sincerely hope all is well with her, since she has hospice help I assume things are very serious and my very best wishes are going out to her for ease in this trying time.
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Post by jbone on Jan 21, 2021 22:58:17 GMT -5
Yes things are not good. Advanced lung cancer. And only beginning to recover from a surgery to remove a malignant tumor in her bowel. No easy way to say it but we don't know how long she can stick around. The hospice people are angels every one. Every need we think of they have covered including this apartment and a top notch nurse, social worker, a gal to come bathe my girl as needed, chaplain, and a lot more.
Her oxygen machine went down in the middle of the night last night and I got it back working with help from the equipment people but it made for a hard and painful morning for Jo. We're working with our nurse to get the right combination of pain meds to effectively give her comfort. She is her old self mind and heart wise but she had nothing but broth for 12 days in various places before she got home here Tuesday. We're getting more solid food going now. She was already pretty diminutive before all this but I expect she lost about an extra 10 pounds or 8% of her body mass.
I got this place set up in record time and the travel trailer is stored for now but I think we'll sell it and await developments. We could be here for a month or a couple of years, hard to say. When this chapter is finished I may look at a fresh RV and continue my wandering. And Jo has told me I MUST keep pursuing music. Which I totally agree with. Maybe start with a solo harp/vocal thing on the streets here and there and see if I can recruit a youngblood partner who would be eager to tag along on some adventures.
I appreciate you guys' concern and good thoughts for sure.
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Post by traveler on Jan 22, 2021 9:13:34 GMT -5
Pat, very sad and sorry to read of the problems Jo is having.
Please know I'll say a prayer for the two of you and am sending all the good vibes I can your way.
Don
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Post by whitefang on Jan 22, 2021 10:35:21 GMT -5
Yes things are not good. Advanced lung cancer. And only beginning to recover from a surgery to remove a malignant tumor in her bowel. No easy way to say it but we don't know how long she can stick around. The hospice people are angels every one. Every need we think of they have covered including this apartment and a top notch nurse, social worker, a gal to come bathe my girl as needed, chaplain, and a lot more. Her oxygen machine went down in the middle of the night last night and I got it back working with help from the equipment people but it made for a hard and painful morning for Jo. We're working with our nurse to get the right combination of pain meds to effectively give her comfort. She is her old self mind and heart wise but she had nothing but broth for 12 days in various places before she got home here Tuesday. We're getting more solid food going now. She was already pretty diminutive before all this but I expect she lost about an extra 10 pounds or 8% of her body mass. I got this place set up in record time and the travel trailer is stored for now but I think we'll sell it and await developments. We could be here for a month or a couple of years, hard to say. When this chapter is finished I may look at a fresh RV and continue my wandering. And Jo has told me I MUST keep pursuing music. Which I totally agree with. Maybe start with a solo harp/vocal thing on the streets here and there and see if I can recruit a youngblood partner who would be eager to tag along on some adventures. I appreciate you guys' concern and good thoughts for sure. Gad. I didn't realize things were that difficult. Last I read she was just getting cataracts removed. And you started a gofundme page to help fray that cost. Seems that here at least, the Covid issue isn't what made 2020 a bummer of a year. And this year too.  Whitefang |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2021 13:20:42 GMT -5
Yes things are not good. Advanced lung cancer. And only beginning to recover from a surgery to remove a malignant tumor in her bowel. No easy way to say it but we don't know how long she can stick around. The hospice people are angels every one. Every need we think of they have covered including this apartment and a top notch nurse, social worker, a gal to come bathe my girl as needed, chaplain, and a lot more. Her oxygen machine went down in the middle of the night last night and I got it back working with help from the equipment people but it made for a hard and painful morning for Jo. We're working with our nurse to get the right combination of pain meds to effectively give her comfort. She is her old self mind and heart wise but she had nothing but broth for 12 days in various places before she got home here Tuesday. We're getting more solid food going now. She was already pretty diminutive before all this but I expect she lost about an extra 10 pounds or 8% of her body mass. I got this place set up in record time and the travel trailer is stored for now but I think we'll sell it and await developments. We could be here for a month or a couple of years, hard to say. When this chapter is finished I may look at a fresh RV and continue my wandering. And Jo has told me I MUST keep pursuing music. Which I totally agree with. Maybe start with a solo harp/vocal thing on the streets here and there and see if I can recruit a youngblood partner who would be eager to tag along on some adventures. I appreciate you guys' concern and good thoughts for sure.
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Post by jbone on Jan 22, 2021 16:45:54 GMT -5
Yes Fang and Dave, maybe the bright spot is she was tested 3 times for Crap19 and negative all 3.
Jo and I have discussed this for a few years now. If one can be "ready" for a loss of this huge magnitude, I am ready. Jo is the most graceful and accepting person I know.
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I sincerely hope all is well with her, since she has hospice help I assume things are very serious and my very best wishes are going out to her for ease in this trying time.
